The Ramblings of Two Bored Cousins
by kakumeimei
Summary: My cousin and I were bored on Christmas Eve, so we wrote this for some reason. It is funny, just a bit demented. R&R PLEASE!


The Ramblings of Two Bored Cousins

By Melissa Tachigawa and her cousin, Matthew insert last name here

Disclaimer: What the Hell is wrong with you?! Does it look like we own animes?! 

Melissa: Uh, so what should we do?

Yusuke: I hate you.

Melissa: (glomps Yusuke) Matthew, how did Yusuke get here?

Yusuke: Who's Matthew?

Melissa: My cousin! He was supposed to be here… (looks around) Aha! (lassos Matthew and pulls him over) Hi there, Matthew!

Matthew: Fine, I'll play along with you.

Melissa: Yay! ^_^

Yusuke: Can I go home now?

Matthew: Me too?

Melissa: NO!! I'm going to torture you!

Matthew: Does that mean you're gonna rape us?

Melissa: (whacks him on the head) No! Only Yusuke.

Yusuke: O_O

Matthew: Was that supposed to hurt?

Melissa: (takes out sharp pointy object) Should I make it hurt?

Matthew: You wouldn't dare.

Melissa: Wanna bet?

Matthew: Money?

Melissa: How much?

Matthew: Since I know it's not gonna hurt, I'll put in nothing.

Melissa: Hey! _#

Yusuke: …

Matthew: I don't know what to say now

Yusuke: Don't say anything, Melissa's a jerk, wouldn't you say?

Matthew: Hell yeah, Melissa sure is one freak

Melissa: I may be a freak, but you don't have to be mean about it! (About to cry)

Yusuke: Like we care about you

Melissa: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! T_T

Matthew: Was that supposed to be a moan?

Melissa: BAKA HENTAI!!

Matthew: I don't understand Japanese, so how's that supposed to offend me?

Melissa: …I don't know. O_o

Matthew: Why the hell did you call me sweetie?

Melissa: One, you spelled it wrong, and two, I call all of my YOUNGER cousins that.

Matthew: Well, at least I'm taller than you

Melissa: Shut up! (Runs away in tears) I AM SO SHORT!!!

Matthew: Got that right

Melissa: (comes back momentarily) (whacks him on the head) (Runs away again) No wait, you're just really tall! Ha! (comes back, glomps Yusuke out of instinct)

Yusuke: Why me?

Matthew: I don't know what to say again

Melissa: Are you at a loss for words?

Yusuke: I'm at a loss of oxygen (turning blue)

Melissa: KYA!! CPR, dammit!! Anyone here-other than me- know it?

Matthew: Is Yusuke the only one here besides us?

Melissa: Does that matter now? He's dying-again!!

John Basedow: Look who joined the party!!

Melissa: (eyes widen in fear) Not again! (Picks up Yusuke O.o and runs away)

Kenshin Himura: Can I join too?

Melissa: Oro? (Drops Yusuke, runs back) KENNYSHIN!! (Glomp)

Yusuke: So you dumped me?

Melissa: Technically, no, but literally, yes.

Yusuke: I'm finally happy

Melissa: O.O Meanie! Why don't you go screw Kurama for all I care?!

Inuyasha: Me too?

Melissa: Can you tape it for me?

Matthew: And you said I was a hentai.

Melissa: You do understand Japanese!

Matthew: How did I talk?

Melissa: Cuz I typed it for you. ^^

Matthew: Don't I get anyone?

Melissa: Kaoru-dono! Kagome-chan! My cousin wants to er… _talk_ to you! (Mutters) More like screw…

Matthew: Who are they?

Melissa: Your bishojo!

Matthew: Uhh like no

Melissa: Yes!

Matthew: I'm bored again…

Melissa: Isn't that why we did this?

Anime peeps: YOU MADE US COME HERE?!?!

Melissa: Yep! -^_^- Hey, maybe I should stick this on fanfiction.net…

Matthew: No

Melissa: Why not?

Matthew: Because I said so?

Melissa: That was a question?

Matthew: so

Melissa: Huh?

Matthew: Huh?

Melissa: Oro?

Kenshin: That's my line, that it is.

Kagome: Uh, Lissa-chan, Kaoru-chan and I are gonna go get a facial, a mani, and a pedi. Wanna come?

Melissa: Sure! (Puts leashes on bishonen) We'll bring them too!

Matthew: I'm speechless

Melissa: Aren't you always?

Matthew: Yep

Melissa: I suggest you say something to Kagome and Kaoru before we leave.

Matthew: What do you suggest?

Melissa: I suggest you do what I said you should do before I get angry (takes out pointy and sharp object again)

Matthew: How about I turn gay and take Yusuke?

Melissa: Do you really want this to be a yaoi?

Matthew: Huh?

Melissa: Yaoi means shonen-ai. ^^

Matthew: Ah

Melissa: What does that mean?

Matthew: I don't know

Melissa: You're strange.

Matthew: So are you

Melissa: I know.

Matthew: What now?

Melissa: I'm going to a salon with Kaoru-chan and Kagome-chan. What are you and the bishonen doing?

Matthew: Have a 4some

Melissa: (hands him a video camera) Make me a tape onegai?

Matthew: Sure

Melissa: Now really, Matthew, I didn't know you were into those kind of things.

Matthew: What things?

Melissa: Read the stuff above and I think you'll get it.

Matthew: No

Melissa: Lazy ass

Matthew: Exactly

Melissa: XP

Matthew: You're stupid

Melissa: I'm rubber your glue, anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you =P

Matthew: XD

Melissa: And what is that supposed to mean?

Matthew: I don't have to tell you

Melissa: I'm older than you, so you have to tell me cuz I said so!

Matthew: No

Melissa: MOMMY!! Matthew's being a buttmunch!

Mommy: So?

Melissa: O.o The world is conspiring against me and they've just recruited my own mother! (Runs away) Come my penguin and one Hamtaro army, we shall take over the world! PUUCHU!!

Yusuke: How bout me?

Melissa: How bout you what?

Yusuke: HUH?

Melissa: What?

Matthew: This is stupid

Melissa: SO ARE YOU!!! (- that was all in caps… O.o) I'm confused… @_@

Matthew: You always are

Melissa: True.

Matthew: True

Melissa: True what?

Matthew: True what?

Melissa: (Punches Matthew) STOP THAT!!!

Matthew: That didn't hurt

Melissa: Yu-chan! I want you to punch Matthew and make it hurt! Badly!

Yusuke: (yawns)

Yusuke: Spirit Gun

Matthew: AAAAH! (Runs away)

Matthew: I'm being possessed again.

Melissa: (holds up Matthew voodoo doll) Yup!

Matthew: Huh?

Melissa: Not again!

Matthew: What?

Melissa: Oh, screw it! Or even better, Yusuke!

Yusuke: O.o

Matthew: What?

Melissa: I'm leaving now. (Drags Bishonen on leashes) Time to get that mani and put it on Matthew's credit card! ^_^

Matthew: You sure have left a lot

Melissa: Left a lot of what?

Matthew: Leaving

Melissa: Oh, that! … Uh, does that really matter?

Matthew: Yup

Melissa: Why?

Matthew: I don't know

Melissa: You're stupid. I'm leaving again. (Walks away)

Matthew: Yes! I'm alone

InuYasha: No you're not XD

Matthew: Cool

InuYasha: Got any instant ramen or jewel shards?

Matthew: No, but Melissa does

InuYasha: Jewel shards or instant ramen?

Matthew: No

InuYasha: Huh?

Matthew: Huh?

InuYasha: Grr… TETSUSUIGA!!!

Matthew: I'm invincible.

InuYasha: (cuts Matthew in half, Matthew is still alive) Dammit! …Uh, ya got any two's?

Matthew: You act just like Melissa

InuYasha: I'm OOC.

Matthew: Oh I forgot! John Basedow's still here

John Basedow: God damn right I am.

Matthew: More fun I guess

InuYasha: Great! Now we can 3some

Matthew: O.O;

John Basedow: No thank. I've had enough fun with the 4some earlier

Matthew: Are you gay InuYasha?

InuYasha: Hell no! I was just joking. 

Matthew: Phew

InuYasha: Anyway, I've got Kagome

Matthew: Aww man, I wanted her

Melissa: We're back! And Matthew, I heard that! I knew you wanted Kagome!

Kagome: O///o

Matthew: Huh?

Melissa: (pushes Kaoru to the front) There's always Kaoru-chan.

Kaoru: O///o

Kenshin: (Steps in front of Kaoru with his sakabatou) My bitch, back off!

Kaoru: _Your bitch?!_ (Takes out bokken) YOU'RE SLEEPING IN THE SHED TONIGHT, YOU DAMNED RUROUNI!!!

Matthew: Huh?

Melissa: Stop saying huh already!

Matthew: Oro?

Melissa: ARRRGH!! …Hey, wait, what about Tae? Do ya like her, Matthew-kun?

Matthew: wtf?

Melissa: Such vulgar language! (lol) Anyway, I could always set you up with Tae from the Akabeko.

Matthew's Demon: I say you kill them all, they're all worthless pieces of shit

Matthew: Where did you come from?

Matthew's Demon: Duh! Hell, you dumbass

Matthew: Right, right

Matthew's Angel: Violence is never the answer young one

Matthew: Right you are angel, but Melissa is so f-ing annoying

Matthew's Demon: Then kill her!

Matthew: Hmm… I guess I should… It's for the best of this world anyway. (Kills InuYasha and takes his Tetsusaiga)

Kagome: How dare you!?

Matthew: I had to.

Kenshin: You're gonna have to pass me if you wanna kill Melissa, violence is never the answer…

Matthew: You will die too Kenshin… HIIIYAAA! (Kills Kenshin)

Melissa: How could you?

Matthew: Shut up, you're time is near

Melissa: NOOOO!! Don't kill you're favorite cousin

Matthew: Favorite? O.o…yea right

Melissa: Well do what you must, Matthew.

Matthew: DIIEE!! (Melissa dies)

Yusuke: Though that was horrible, now I can live in peace.

Matthew: So, Kagome, what do you say, you and me? 

Kagome: Inuyasha was getting boring anyway, sure

Matthew: Hell yeah!

Kaoru: I guess I should kill myself now after my Kenshin dying and all.

Matthew: Well bye

Kaoru: (stabs herself with some dagger out of nowhere)

Yusuke: Well I'm heading out, have fun you two

Kagome: We sure will, right Matthew?

Matthew: Of course (kisses Kagome)

The End… 

Matthew: I know Melissa's going to type something after this, so I guess it's not the end 

Melissa: You're damn right!! I'm back from Hell! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Matthew: How did you…?

Melissa: Let's see, I took over with a sharp and pointy object, and not to mention that my penguin and one Hamtaro army helped. And ya know what?

Matthew: What?

Melissa: InuYasha helped me!

InuYasha: DIE YOU @^#*$(% BASTARD!!! KAGOME IS MY BITCH!!!

Melissa: I think some people have been hanging out with my twinlit too much… she claims her bishonen as her bitches. ()

Matthew: (dies)

Melissa: Hah! Burn in Hell, you ungrateful cousin of mine!!

Yusuke: And this is what we call family rivalries. ()

Melissa: (dies)

Yusuke: Cool, she died again, but how?

Matthew: I never did die… Melissa just thinks she's all that… typing stuff that isn't real…

Yusuke: Right you are.

Melissa: (wipes off ketchup on clothes) Matthew! What the Hell?! This was one of my favorite shirts!

Matthew: Oh crap…

Melissa: (extremely angry) DAMN YOU MATTHEW!! I AM SO GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD THAT YOURGREAT GRANDCHILDREN WILL FEEL IT!!!!!!!

Matthew: uhi'vegottagobuhbye!! (runs away)

Melissa: COME BACK HERE!!! 

Matthew: I'm gonna have grandchildren?

Melissa: Probably not, but on the off chance that you do, I've cursed you. ^^

Matthew: I'm bored again.

Melissa: (types what he just said)

Matthew: . How funny.

Melissa: ^-^

Matthew: What?

Melissa: I dunno.

Matthew: Melissa is stupid, and that's why she's typing all of the crap that I'm saying, even though I didn't actually say all this; she's just typing it because she is a freak.

Melissa: Huh?

Matthew: Ehehehehehehe…

Melissa: (types that too)

Matthew: You're stupid.

Melissa: What ever, at least I'm smarter than you. XP

Matthew: (claps his hands annoyingly) (reads that line) You're so stupid!

Melissa: Ehehehehehe…

Matthew: Now what? … You're stupid.

Melissa: How many times are you going to say that?

Matthew: I dunno.

Melissa: Ya know, I did this to our other cousins, they got really annoyed… Now what?

Matthew: I dunno.

Melissa: Do you know anything?

Matthew: Yes.

Melissa: Finally, a yes! 

The frickin' end 

Because Melissa is too lazy to write anymore and Matthew really isn't helping much. ^^;;


End file.
